The Scarlet Letter "C"

for "cheat"

Okay, the title may be a TAD melodramatic...

It's been just over a month and a half since I became buddies w/ good ol' family friend Betty. I think I've done quite well on my new diet...my #s have certainly supported that. I've leveled for the most part, in the 100-130 range (a far cry from the staggering #s the day of the diagnosis, and the figures from days immediately following it). But today, I had my first big "cheat" and the #s reflect that. I feel pretty bad.

I had my first minor cheat a couple of weeks ago. The other half and I went to a local casino for some bingo fun (yes, we're 80 year old women apparently). They have a snack shop w/in the bingo hall, and I decided to splurge and get a bacon cheeseburger; w/ bun. Now, I did opt for the veggies side dish, foregoing the obligatory french fries (they were the big, hearty steak fries I might add--not an easy thing to resist). It was all good, and my #s were barely effected. Truthfully. Well, later in the evening, after some fun slot play, we decided to attend the evening bingo session...last minute. The session began @ 7pm, and we got our cards @ about 6:50pm. Needless to say, we didn't have time to run to the snack bar, and the #s were being called on the first game (crazy how fast they call out the #s--especially to us newbies), so we just quickly ordered a meal (it was past my regular meal time, so I was getting a big un-focused and shaky)...and since we had no menus, we ordered the same things we had had for lunch earlier...bacon cheeseburgers. However, I went for the delish steak fries instead of the mixed veggies. So, it was a cheat as far as I was concerned, but again (even after TWO "bad" meals) my #s didn't really change much. So it was a cheat, but not a hair-raising, sugar-topping off, wacky "I'm hittin' the emergency room" situation. So I quickly forgave myself and enjoyed the steak fries. (Lots o' carbs).

Today was a new story. Today is the day that will forever mark my relationship w/ Betty as "tainted". It was a big cheat. A monumental cheat. But dammit, IT WAS GOOD.

We hit a sushi place near our beloved Target (we walked the mile to get there). Had some tempura calamari, a California roll, a cucumber roll and a Philadelphia roll. Not anything to really be concerned over. But then they brought the desert menu. Now, truth be told, my deserts of the past weeks have consisted of sugar-free Jello's, no sugar added puddings, bananas, apples, and the occasional smoothie from Cold Stone (I tried their no-sugar ice cream--bleccch!). None of this amounted to more than a couple of up-clicks on the ol' sugar meter.

But the desert menu @ the sushi place...it had a banana tempura w/ a scoop of vanilla ice cream. I found myself salivating over the photo, so I said "f*** it" and threw caution (and my tester) to the wind. I ordered it. I don't know if it was actually the BEST desert I ever had, or if I had just been so deprived (not that I'm FEELING deprived--truthfully) that it was monumentally good and ultimately memorable. I ate the whole damn thing. All of it. In the words of Ned Flanders, it was "scrumb-diddly-umptios."

But it's been 7 hours, and I am feeling a little buyer's remorse (for lack of a better word). I checked my #s @ dinner time (about 6pm), and they were pretty high...about 155. Not horrendous by any means, but definitely elevated. I really wasn't too concerned, and didn't get down on myself. Not a death sentence. But I just checked my #s before my bedtime snack. (BTW, dinner was a couple of sandwiches on whole wheat w/ some pickles--followed by a couple of handfuls of dry corn-bran cereal for desert). I don't know if it was just some crazy compounding, mathematical situation which my sugars were taking part in, but I was seeing 174 on my meter. Kind of a downer.

I'm trying to keep my guilt to a reasonable level...and to reserve final judgment once I see my #s in the morning before breakfast. If they've returned to "normal" levels, then I will breathe a sigh of relief, pop my pills and promise to never cheat again (until we return to the sushi place again--perhaps that will be my one and only cheat--return to Crazy Rock'n Sushi once a month for my cheat desert!) A tradition in uncontrolled sugar intake!

Well, that's my update about close friend Betty. She doesn't like it when I cheat, but I'm only human. I think writing this all out has made me feel better about the terrible sin committed here today.

Oh, BTW, we DID walk home from the place (and it's uphill on the way back) so we got to walk off a bit of the cheat.

For now, the GREAT SWEET CUT-OUT continues... (well, w/ a short breather today...)