Truthfully?

I think the honeymoon is over. Apparently there WAS some initial shock @ the diagnosis, cuz I'm feeling a little emotional today. Not bad, not crying, not dramatic, but AWARE of the sheer scope of changes before me. A little daunting. I remain positive, and after four days, still am trying to eat properly (doing very well, thank you), taking my meds and checking my blood sugar often (thanks Wilford!)

But it really hit me on my way home from work...which, by the way was not as bad as I had expected. Not sure what I expected from a first day back. I was nauseous this morning, but by mid morning, I was feeling pretty fine. The new meds?

Anyway, had things not changed over the weekend, I would have come home from work, put on some street clothes and headed out w/ the other half for a gigantic, sugar-filled dinner someplace (IHOP perhaps...mmm...maybe Hooters!), followed by some shopping and walking and then desert @ Johnny Rockets...a shake.

The thing is, I don't know how to function w/out food. Certainly I'm still eating, but when I go out, I expect to eat. A snack, a desert, a full-fledged meal...with not a care in the world. But now, I have to be careful and think things through. Of course I can still eat out. Of course I can still go on my shopping walks. That's not changed...and my common sense is aware of that. But my inner, emotional...steeped in tradition guy...well, he doesn't get it. I worked hard today. Go home, chill in front of the tube, go next door to the mall and get a "Love It" size from ColdStone.

I'm truly confused, and frankly a little depressed.

Going out to eat is an institution in my relationship with the other half. Sure counting calories/carbs, reading labels and cutting portions will be tough...but changing how we LIVE, and socialize (not even w/ friends, but BETWEEN THE TWO OF US)...it's kinda scary.

I'm not giving up, just accepting the fact that I've got a tough road ahead.

In other news...I've found a new doctor (affiliated w/ Cedars Sinai, thank you very much). I feel good w/ my appointment today, and will be attending a diabetes training course in the next week or so.

In addition, I'm a part of the One Touch family now...as my meter arrived in the mail today. I've been using a standby generic for the past few days, but this new one is THE ONE. And it's covered by insurance, so they'll be no further switches there.

It's all coming together...including all of the realizations!

The GREAT SWEET CUT-OUT OF 2011 continues...