What's all this then?

Still having strange feelings surrounding my recent diagnosis.

1) I have a feeling that most people are sick and tired of hearing about it, but honestly, it's about the only thing occupying my mind right now...so sorry.

2) I tried to explain this to the other half, but I'm not quite sure I understand it myself. This overwhelming feeling of "I can no longer enjoy anything (not just food) fully." Not my surroundings, my work, my job, my LIFE. There's something more there, but I can't quite place my finger on it. I either CAN'T enjoy things, or I won't ALLOW myself to enjoy things. It's a weird, weird place to be. And it doesn't help that these sensations/feelings/moods are so VAGUE.

I guess it's a feeling of being DISABLED. Is that it? Am I just expecting to feel disabled, so that's keeping me from going on as I had before? What is it? So very frustrating...

The GREAT SWEET CUT-OUT OF 2011 continues...